The List
by GurenSR
Summary: Misaki has a dream which makes him paranoid and screwes up the relationship between him and his lover. One Shot.


Hey guys! Ok I rushed this fic a bit too much cause I wanted to let you guys have something to read while I finish off Innocent Fool, so it's coming but I'm having trouble with it… oh well ill get it done no worries :P (im also going to a place with no internet for a few days...so if i dont reply to your reviews i will but it will take some time :) )

and for those who havent read my profile in a few weeks days...whatever, im going to take this "no Internet" time to finish off Innocent Prey

This fic is just a random idea that came into my mind one day. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: The story which you are about to read is fanfiction which is based on Shungiku Nakamura's Junjou Romantica (MisakiXUsagi pairing). I do not own the anime, the manga or any of the characters.

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"Usagi-san, what are you doing?" Misaki asked as he walked into the living room while keeping his eyes on his lover who was writing something that looked very important.

"I'm writing a list of my most important things." Usagi replied as he continued to write the list.

This bit of news made Misaki chuckle while he shrugged it off and sat down with a smile on his face. "Baka Usagi-san." He commented and waited for the man to finish writing.

When Usagi finished his list Misaki glanced at the paper. "What?" Usagi asked the curious boy beside him.

"Can I see it?" Misaki asked and smiled at the man who shrugged and handed the note pad to the boy. Misaki's smile however faded when he saw the list before him:

1) Takahiro

2) Kamijou Hiroki

3) Kamijou Hiroki

4) Kamijou Hiroki

5) Kamijou Hiroki

Misaki looked at the list in front of him with widened eyes. "K-kamijou-san?" Misaki asked as he looked up with Usagi with tears in his green eyes.

Usagi merely glanced at the boy unaffected by his teary state. "Yes, well I can't have Takahiro now can I? Therefore I'm just being realistic that's all." Usagi replied as he lit a cigarette and inhaled.

Misaki kept in the sob which was about to break through his lips. "W-what about me then?" Misaki asked with a weak smile on his face. His whole body felt numb and he no longer knew what to think.

"What about you?" Usagi asked in a cold indifferent tone as he put out his cigarette.

"I'm not on the list…" Misaki stated as he looked back down at the list in his hand.

"Why would I put the _substitute_ on the list?" Usagi asked static making Misaki's blood run cold.

"But…d-don't you l-love me?" Misaki asked his voice shaking as a tear fell down his cheek.

"Love you? Why would you think that?" Usagi asked as he smirked at the boy in tears. "Love cannot be given to a mere _substitute_ like you." Usagi said again as he took hold of the boy's arms and then pushed him down onto the couch.

"U-usagi-san?" Misaki asked crying now.

"The answer is NO, I don't love you at all." Usagi said and forcefully kissed Misaki. "Now act like the substitute you are." He said and began to force himself on the crying boy who tried to struggle free.

SLAM

Misaki had fallen head first out of bed and groaned in pain. "Ouch." Misaki muttered as he rubbed the back of his head while tears stung his eyes.

"Misaki are you alright?" Usagi asked from the door looking concerned.

Misaki chuckled once without humor and then smiled up at his lover. "I'm fine, sorry." He apologized as he got up.

"Why are you apologizing?" Usagi asked with a smile since Misaki was unharmed.

"Um…well…" Misaki muttered not knowing what to say. This only made Usagi's smile grow wider as he walked over to the boy and leaned down in order to place his lips on his.

"Good morning." Usagi said to the now blushing boy who, to Usagi's surprise, didn't lash out at him verbally or pull back.

"Morning." Misaki replied despite his embarrassment and then followed his lover out of the room.

XXXXXXXX

Later that day Usagi and Misaki were downstairs doing their own routines. Misaki was washing the dishes left from breakfast while Usagi was working on another, to Misaki's annoyance, BL-novel. 'I'm kinda worried…I know it was a dream but I'm still a bit uneasy about it.' Misaki thought as he glanced at the man in the living room who looked deep in thought. He then looked down and blushed.

"U-usagi-san." Misaki called and the man looked up to see what his lover needed.

"Yes, Misaki?" Usagi replied as he observed the blushing boy in the kitchen. 'What on earth could he be blushing about?' Usagi thought slightly amused.

"Um…" Misaki began but then glanced at the clock on the wall. "Shoot, I need to go or I'll be late for school." Misaki stated and then headed towards the lobby.

"Misaki, what did you have to say to me?" Usagi asked as he got off of the couch and headed towards the boy who had stopped walking.

"Um…" Misaki said but then thought it would be stupid to ask Usagi about Hiroki or the list in general. "W-what would you like to eat today?" Misaki asked as he began to put his shoes on.

Usagi smiled at this and walked behind Misaki. "Anything you make is to my linking." He replied as he placed a hand on Misaki's head causing the boy to blush. "But I do like your stew." He whispered into the blushing boy's ear.

"W-well, I'll make stew then." Misaki replied and then turned to Usagi once more before he began to head towards the door.

Before he did so, Usagi stopped him and leaned down and pecked his lips. "Have a safe trip." He said with a loving tone as he smiled down at the beet red boy.

"I-I'll be going then." Misaki replied and turned and left the house.

XXXX

At school Misaki walked into class just to be greeted by his sempai. "Morning." He greeted with a smile Misaki did the same and sat down beside him.

"Morning." Misaki replied as he began to unpack his bag.

"So, how's Usami-san doing?" Sumi then asked with one of his 'smiles' which made Misaki's eyebrow twitch.

"He's fine." Misaki replied with a tone that told Sumi to move on.

"Oi, shut it! The class has started." The teacher yelled from the front of the class causing Misaki to turn his attention towards the front.

It wasn't his usual economics teacher, but it was: "I'm Hiroki Kamijou, I will be subbing in for Honda-sensei while he is gone for the week." Hiroki stated as he opened his books.

"We got the Devil as our substitute…great." Sumi muttered as he began to jot down notes he did not want to anger their substitute.

Misaki was not concerned about this "Devil" title instead he began to feel nervous and uneasy when the dream from the night before entered his mind.

_2) Kamijou Hiroki_

_3) Kamijou Hiroki_

_4) Kamijou Hiroki_

_5) Kamijou Hiroki_

XXXXX

Misaki had not been able to forget about the dream he had had and the fact that Kamijou was his teacher for the next week was not making him feel any better. Misaki was losing his mind thinking the dream over and over in his head. 'They might have been lovers in the past…I mean I don't know what happened years ago. But then again do I want to know?' Misaki thought as he kept on glancing towards his lover. 'I've got to ask him something…I won't be able to let this go if I don't ask.' Misaki thought as he took a deep breath and picked up the tray and headed towards the living room.

"Usagi-san." Misaki called as he walked into the living room and placed a tea mug on the table. Usagi looked up and waited for the boy to speak slightly curious. "Do you know Komijou-san?" he asked not looking at Usagi at all.

"Yes, I know him." Usagi replied looking suspicious. "Why are you asking me this?" he asked, something wasn't right with Misaki, he had been acting odd for the whole day it was as if something was occupying his mind.

"Was he your friend or is he your friend?" Misaki asked while ignoring Usagi's question. He knew he was being rude and pushy but he HAD to know.

"Misaki, that's none of your business." Usagi replied he was starting to get irritated. What was the boy aiming at? He didn't want to dig up the past it was history so why worry about it? He then realized what he had said and looked up. Misaki's eyes had become saddened as he looked at anything but his lover. "Misaki-"

"Fine, I know. Sorry for asking." Misaki muttered and turned back towards the kitchen.

"Misaki, I meant that it's in the past and nothing good comes out of living in the past." Usagi explained as he got up and followed the boy into the kitchen and waited for the boy to look at him which he did after a while.

"Did something… bad happen?" Misaki then asked while he looked up at his lover. Usagi sighed and slid his hand down his face.

"Misaki, please just drop it." Usagi begged and wanted to end the conversation there but Misaki had no intention of giving up.

"Something bad must have happened because you don't want to talk about it." Misaki stated as he placed the mug into the sink, before Usagi could interrupt him he continued his questioning. "But then again you two might still be friends, which is why the thing that happened can't be THAT bad. I don't know what happened in the past because I was merely a kid but I'd want to know if-"

"Misaki that's enough!" Usagi snapped and glared at the boy which made him recoil. "I said it's none of your business." He said and Misaki slightly nodded his head after which Usagi looked away and turned back towards the living room leaving Misaki alone feeling uneasy about what had occurred.

Usagi knew he had hurt Misaki by his outburst, but he did not want to speak of the past. He had slept with Hiroki, yes, but it had been one of the biggest mistakes of his entire life. He had selfishly thought he would be able to substitute someone else for Takahiro , but in the end he regretted it more than anything. It had been a mistake and telling Misaki about something like that would only make the boy uneasy seeing as he himself thought he was a substitute for his brother.

Usagi then glanced back at Misaki and saw his hands were shaking along with his whole being. "Misaki?" Usagi asked as he turned around and observed the boy.

"Fuck you." Misaki muttered as he turned and ran up the stairs with tears clearly in his eyes, leaving Usagi alone in the living room shocked. 'Misaki just...? Why did he want to know about Hiroki so much?' Usagi thought as he sat on the couch and sighed. "Damn it."

XXXXX

The next morning had been awkward and silent and Misaki had left the house faster than usually and Usagi couldn't blame him for it. The conversation from before had made both of them feel a bit, needless to say, troubled. Misaki felt uncomfortable about getting mad at Usagi and swearing at him while Usagi felt like a jerk for not answering his lover's questions.

It had taken Usagi a long time to get Misaki to talk to him openly and now when he really wanted to know something, the one time he actually asked about something out of his own accord, Usagi had snapped at him and told him it was not his business.

Misaki was having an unproductive day in school and he was stressed to the max. By the time school was over he had made a decision. 'If Usagi-san won't tell me anything then I'll ask someone else…' Misaki thought as he walked over to Hiroki and watched him pack his things. Soon the teacher realized that the boy was standing there. "Takahashi-kun?" he asked as he waited for the boy to speak.

"Um…" Misaki began but then looked down.

"Yes? I'm in a bit of a rush." Hiroki stated, he had to meet up with Nowaki in half an hour.

"Um…are you good friends with Usami-san?" Misaki asked and looked up at the man who had blushed a bit.

"Well…er…we're childhood friends and we usually hang out every now and then…why do you want to know?" Hiroki asked. 'Odd boy, what does he have to do with Akihiko?'

"I see." Misaki replied and turned to leave.

"Akihiko is one of my oldest friends and he borrows books from me every now and then." Hiroki continued to speak not knowing why he even bothered.

"I see." Misaki said again and took a step to leave.

"Why did you ask?" Hiroki then questioned the boy's motives.

"No reason." Misaki replied and continued to walk.

"Ok…well see you tomorrow." Hiroki said and turned his attention back to packing his bag.

Misaki had made it to the door but then he turned around and walked back to Hiroki's desk. "Did you…love Akihiko?" Misaki then blurted out not being able to control it.

"HUH?" Hiroki asked not believing what he was hearing.

"Did you sleep with him?" Misaki pestered not letting the man ignore his questions.

"Takahashi-kun that's enough!" Hiroki stated stern despite the deep blush on his face.

Misaki's eyes went blank when he saw this. "You _have_ slept with him." Misaki stated his voice merely a whisper. He then turned and ran out of the room leaving Hiroki into a shock type of state.

"What the hell…" Hiroki muttered in complete and utter shock as he didn't even register his phone ringing.

XX

At home Misaki ran inside and didn't even greet Usagi who looked concerned by the boy's actions. "Misaki wha-" Usagi began but was unable to complete his question because the boy ran past him and up the stairs.

'He slept with Kamijou-san and he didn't tell me…does that mean he really does prefer him over me?' Misaki thought as he ran into his room shutting the door behind him. He was becoming paranoid and all of a sudden his dream began to make so much sense to him.

Usagi followed the boy upstairs concerned and even more so when he was incapable of opening the door. "Misaki, did something happen?" Usagi asked as he knocked on the door, but he did not receive a reply. "Misaki, open this door and tell me what's wrong."

After a few minutes the phone ran downstairs which made Usagi sigh. "Misaki I'll be right back." He said to the boy on the other side of the door and headed down the stairs.

Misaki sighed on the other side but then opened the door in order to hear who was calling.

"Hello?" Usagi said into the phone and waited for a reply. "Hiroki, it's strange for you to call me. Did something happen?" Usagi replied into the phone while Misaki's eyes widened in shock.

'No Kamijou-san will tell Usagi-san that I...oh my god!' Misaki thought and got up and headed downstairs and towards the phone.

"He asked you all of those questions?" Usagi asked appalled the shock visible on his face. Then the phone was cut off.

Usagi stood there with the now beeping phone in his hand and then turned to Misaki. Misaki did not look up, instead he kept his eyes nailed to the ground.

"Misaki." Usagi called and waited for a reply which he did not receive. "Misaki, is it true?" Usagi pestered not allowing the boy to escape the questionnaire.

"Is what true?" Misaki then asked still keeping his eyes to the ground. He knew what Usagi meant but did not want to reply. It was embarrassing.

"Did you ask Hiroki all of those questions?" Usagi asked again anger evident in his voice now. Misaki flinched at his angry tone but nodded knowing he would have to tell him sooner or later. Usagi sighed when he saw the boy nod.

Usagi then took hold of Misaki's hand and pulled him towards the living room where the two sat down. "Why did you ask him all of those questions?" Usagi then asked his young lover who was sitting beside him.

"…" Misaki did not reply, he merely kept his eyes on the ground not wanting to face Usagi yet.

"Misaki." Usagi said again in a warning tone. "Why?"

"Because you wouldn't tell me anything and I got scared." Misaki replied honestly yet it was barely above a whisper.

"Scared? Why?" Usagi asked not understanding the reason behind the statement.

"You kept all of those things to yourself when I asked you about Kamijou-san so I thought you didn't want to tell me because…" Misaki muttered not completing his sentence.

"Because?" Usagi asked wanting to hear the reason.

"Because I thought there was something…between you two." Misaki replied and blushed still looking troubled by it.

"…Misaki, look at me." Usagi said as he gently placed his fingers below Misaki's chin and lifted his head up. He then slid his hand behind Misaki's neck and looked deep into Misaki's saddened eyes. "Where the hell did you get something like that into your head?"

Misaki then quickly looked away and blushed.

"Misaki?" Usagi asked he was not going to let the boy get out of this one.

"I…had a dream." Misaki replied honestly despite his embarrassment.

"A dream? Ok…and what was in this dream?" Usagi asked, he did not know what kind of a dream could have made Misaki act in such a way.

"You…and me." Misaki replied not looking up.

"Well that's pleasant." Usagi replied with a smile and he smirked slightly.

"No…" Misaki disagreed and shook his head slightly while making Usagi look at him confused. "You wrote a list of the five most important things to you in your life…" Misaki continued but still wouldn't meet Usagi's eyes.

"What did I write on the list? Your name?" Usagi asked and smiled but the smile faded when Misaki shook his head.

"No…" the boy replied sadness clearly in his voice.

"What? Well, what did the list look like then?" Usagi asked, he couldn't even imagine what else he would write on the list except for Misaki's name.

Misaki then glanced at the man beside him and then leaned forward and grabbed Usagi's notepad and pen from the table and began to write the list with his hand shaking. When he had completed the list he handed the notepad to Usagi who waited patiently.

When he saw the list his eyes widened in shock.

_1) Takahiro_

_2) Kamijou Hiroki_

_3) Kamijou Hiroki_

_4) Kamijou Hiroki_

_5) Kamijou Hiroki_

"Misaki…" Usagi muttered shocked by the list in his hand. He then glanced at his lover. Misaki felt uneasy and hurt and he was not going to bother trying to hide it.

Usagi then smiled and took the pen from Misaki's hand. "This is my list." He stated with a smirk and began to write. Misaki watched the man write his list out with a smile on his face. He then handed the notepad to the boy who looked at him suspicious until he reluctantly took the notepad from his lover.

"Read." Usagi ordered with a kind smile on his lips and Misaki did as he was told.

_1) Misaki_

_2) Misaki_

_3) Misaki_

_4) Misaki_

_5) Misaki_

_6) Misaki, the person I think is adorable when he's jealous._

_I love you, Misaki_

Misaki blushed while his heart skipped a beat and then took the pen from Usagi who was slightly surprised by the action. Misaki turned the page and scribbled something on the paper and then blushed beet red when he handed the notepad to Usagi.

Usagi's eyes widened in shock when he had read what Misaki had written. His eyes then became kind as he turned to look down at his lover. Usagi then leaned forward and locked his lips with the boy's and kissed him passionately allowing all of his feelings and emotions to pass through to his young lover. The two kissed with all of their passion while the notepad fell onto the ground with a black page containing four simple words:

"_I love you, too."_

_

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There done! :) remember to review! Innocent Fool will be done soon...i hope :P

~GurenSR


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